David Beroff (d4b) wrote,
David Beroff

Save Me from a Fate Worse than the Junkyard! ('89 CRX 38mpg)

Hi, I'm a 1989 Honda CRX. Maybe you've seen me cruising on 81?

I've served a good long life, and now all my ignorant owner
wants to do is to chop me up into tiny parts and ship pieces of
me all over the country using some computer thing called eBay.

Please don't let this happen... only YOU can prevent my mangling!

I'm basically a good, consistent provider; I've been getting
friends from point A to point B for 24 years now. I may not
offer luxury like that uppity little BMW across the street,
but I can certainly offer you a good value and a great ride.

I'm a real cheap date: I won't make you buy me jewelry, and
I offer you a VERY sexy 38mpg! I can even hit 41mpg on the
open road in the summer. (Hey, I was "green" before it was
ever hip to be green... and I'm not even a hybrid!)

My owner is pretty strict about not smoking, so I smell good,
and I don't even need fancy perfume. I'm clean, and so's my
title. My radio offers you good sound, and I'll let you
listen to your music all... night... long! I hope you have
strong arms and a good, steady hand, 'cuz I want you to treat
my manual transmission just right. Oh, and in case you were
wondering... behind closed garage doors... I'm RED!

Yes, yes; I've got issues. Who doesn't? I need some surgery,
because I won't pass inspection, due to a rusted out bottom.
There, I said it. Can you still love me after you patch that?

Also, my engine won't always start when it's warm; it'll turn
fine, but it won't catch. After I've been sitting in the rain,
you'll feel some slight hesitation on my very first acceleration.

(Hey, can YOU perform perfectly outdoors, Every, Single, Time?)

My air conditioner is real flaky and you gotta turn my A/C
compressor on and off manually. You'll hafta slam my rear
hatch; it's sometimes tough to close. I have a minor shimmy
over 65mph. And after 137k miles, I've got... rust. {blush}

So, I'm not perfect, OK? But maybe I'm perfect for YOU. All
I really need is some tender loving care, (and some body work),
and I promise... I'll show you a REAL good ride. Just slip my
owner $1500 cash, (OBO), and he'll let you drive me ANYwhere
you want. ;-)

(as posted to Craigslist)
Tags: crx, marketing
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